Meant To Soar

"Love makes a heart flutter like a butterfly.  Just like love, when it first takes off its flight is a little unstable and new but so thrilling and exciting it cannot contain itself.  It's probably even a little scared.  But as it gets used to the exhilarating sensation of its wings gracing through the warm air it begins to know this is where it belongs.  Nothing can stop it now.  Now it soars."

-Alicia Hinkley

Love has a funny way of sweeping us off our feet as we cling there to a wall, hanging on for dear life.  But all the while God has been transforming us - changing everything about us except our core.  How we look.  How we process life.  How we do life.  Our perspectives will be new.  Then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, our shell breaks free, but not without a fight, and we take to the air.  He was preparing us for that one special moment as our romance with Him truly did sweep us off our feet into the grand open air.

For some this process is slow and painstaking, but for others it is virtually instantaneous.  New and thrilling and exciting.  Yes, even a little scary at times.  In a good way.  True love runs deep.  It is more than a feeling, but a foundation.  And with that foundation life has a whole new look to it.  We can see things from above or sideways or under if we want to.  Or all of the above.  Instead of being forever confined to crawl along the ground.  Now we can fly.  And soar.  Through life.  Through pain.  Through the sun and the rain alike.  We can take on the world!  At least, it sure feels that way.

Life and love may have their struggles but it is so breathtakingly beautiful through it all, whether we can see it or not.  I can only imagine the smile brought to God's face as He watches His masterpiece in us unfold each day.  Isn't that just amazing?!

Brown-Eyed, Blue-Eye Wannabe

Just a young girl, she wakes up before school and stretches long from a good night sleep. Fumbling to get herself together she makes her way to the bathroom and climbs up on the stool placed strategically in front of the mirror. But something is wrong. Her face begins to twist a little as a frown appears on her face. You see, as far as she was concerned, God had made a mistake on her. She had been born with an inadequacy in her book. Something needed to change. It may seem trivial to us, but to her this was a horrible feature she could not overcome on her own.. Her entire family had brilliant blue eyes; she had been left with deep brown eyes. And this was her daily routine. Every day she begged and pleaded with God to change the color of her eyes to a beautiful blue as she stared at herself in the mirror slightly distraught. Her prayer was never answered.


This is the story that captured my heart when I was still a young girl - only eight years of age. I knew I had to do something - I absolutely had to be involved in ministry in some way. Naturally, the story does not end here. This is the story of Amy Carmichael. A young girl who did not understand why God had made her the way that He did. And how many of us feel the same way? How many times do you look in the mirror and doubt why you look a certain way, act a certain way, or can't do certain things that others can? Too often, I can guarantee you that. Yet this is nothing new. Moses questioned God four different times in the matter of a few verses in Exodus 3 and 4. God had immaculate plans for him to do His ministry, yet Moses questioned that, feeling completely inadequate and full of fear of what may or may not happen. Still, God uses him in extraordinary ways.


Here's the clincher - God knows your so-called shortcomings. He knows them, and you, intimately. This does not stop the fact that He will call you to do great things. None of your weaknesses are too great for God's strength. Instead, God makes provisions for where we think we cannot follow through (Aaron's ministry alongside Moses) to grow us into the person He needs us to be. We are human. He knows that. He wants to use that. We are His plan for the world!


So what became of Amy, the brown-eyed, blue-eye wannabe? As Amy became an adult she slowly began to realize God had a plan for her and became satisfied with exactly how God made her in every detail. There was a dying and hurting world that she could minister to in a unique way. To make a long story short, she got heavily involved in sharing the gospel in India. Because of her deep brown eyes she was able to put makeup on her lighter skin and become part of the culture with the people. She had an "in" that many did not have. And she was one of the first to bring the gospel into an area the gospel had never touched before as she built a trust with the people. There was a very clear reason she was born with brown eyes and not blue. The one thing that she tried to pray away for years God used to His advantage. Likewise, God used the trouble Moses had in speaking to show His might - among other things, He helped him overcome this seemingly large disadvantage and become one of the greatest vehicles for bringing God's chosen people, Israel, into the Promised Land.


So let me ask you this: what are the shortcomings you think you have? Are you surrendering them to God so that He can use you and overcome what seem to be failures and faults? And lastly, what kind of ministry will God enable you to accomplish for Him through all this? Doubting who God made you to be only robs yourself of the blessing He has in store for you. He will use you to do phenomenal things if you let Him. I plead with you to trust Him with every little detail - He is more than capable!!

Whosits -or- Whatsits

A close friend of mine had just died in a tragic car accident. Some of her closest friends and I pulled together at the last minute to make the 12 hour trek down to Florida for her funeral. It was not even a question of whether we should be there or not. If it was one of us, she would have done the same thing. I learned a lot through this trip at the end of September. A lot about God. A lot about myself. A lot about true friendship. A lot about grief and living in a way that matters: an act of worship to God.. We all laughed. We cried. We were stretched and grew..

At the same time, my community group at Brentwood Church was (and we still are) going through a study called "The Intentional Woman: A Guide To Experiencing the Power of Your Story". In one of the sections we were challenged to pick a verse from a list of those provided that spoke of who God is to us and what He is going to do in our lives and make it into a prayer. I hesitated to pick just one at first since they were all so good. One of them was one of my favorite verses when I was a young teenager. I set the book down and came back to it a few days later. That was when Isaiah 42:16 popped off the page and became real in my life personally. This happened on the way back from Ashley's funeral.

Isaiah 42:16 says, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." From this I pleaded with God to take my hand and lead me through whatever may come my way. I knew He would take me places I had never dreamed of before. Where I was once blind and lost in an unfamiliar place, I would trust in God, who is bigger than any of my shortcomings and weaknesses, to take me to a new home simply by seeing through His eyes instead of my own. There would be bumps along the way, but He would smooth them out for me and never leave my side. I was amazed by the power behind this in my life and cried out it out to Him on a daily basis!

Over a relatively short period of time I began to settle into this and get distracted by life. I was still seeking God but not as fervently as before. After just a few weeks everything came to a head. My Father whispered countless deafening truths right to the gut of my being, and my life was turned upside down (for the better). No tragedy befell me, but huge pieces of me were transformed! I realized that I had been focusing on where God was taking me instead of the fact that it was He that was taking me there.

Let me say that again: I was focused on where God was taking me instead of the fact that it was HE that was taking me there.

We have all heard that life is about the journey, not the destination. And I am a firm believer of that. But too often we lose sight of that and, out of our blindness, don't even realize what we've done and how we've subconsciously rejected God by trying to fulfill our dreams on our own terms. We begin to think that the unfamiliar places God promises to lead us through are behind us and that the bumps in the road will be smoothed out before we get there. But all too often God chooses to smooth things out and shed light on the subject after the fact. Possibly not even until we are perfected in glory. We will always only "see through a glass darkly" until we are in the full presence of our Saviour (I Corinthians 13:12). We may get to see more at times, but our vision is limited - we are blind.

So I guess my challenge is this: enjoy your time with God, and have lots of it! Remember that there are some things you won't ever know in this life, and don't need to.. so trust God from every ounce of your being with every intricate detail of your life. But most of all, stop seeking direction and instead seek your Director! Put all of your undivided attention on Him.. It's more about who He is and less about what He does for you. Be content to be, so long as you are "being" in Him!

Your Might, You Display..

"Your might, You display. In the skies every day. Everything You created for Your praise!" (from the song "Faithful")

Most of what I am about to write I told to myself probably 20 times as I was trying not to forget it all. Some of it I forgot anyways.. But yeah, God is just.. WOW! Sorry, but I don't even have words for how amazing He is!!!

I am afraid that none of what follows will do any justice to the divulgences I received tonight, of God's character and how our relationship with Him works. But I truly hope that you will gain at least something from the wealth that God has poured into my life. I intend to post again soon with one of the many things God has shown me recently. There's so much I can barely take mental note of it all myself, much less express it effectively. But my wish is to let the Spirit use me and speak through me. He is no secret to be kept!

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Coming home from church today I told myself I should take a walk at some point because it was such a beautiful day out. I sadly found myself immersed in a little bit of homework and spending most of my time expressing myself to God through some journaling, in song, and with prayer. And simply resting in Him. After all, He has been teaching me and growing me so much recently, the least I can do is give it back to Him with every moment of my life, all as an act of worship! Needless to say I did not take a walk..

However, my dad and I decided to take a last minute motorcycle ride this afternoon. Within the first few miles I realized we were heading directly into the sunset. I was absolutely astonished at its brilliance! It was by far one of the most brilliant skies I have ever seen before in person! God's might and love were so evident to me in that moment as I sang songs of His cleansing, renewal, and faithfulness in my life. The thing was, it didn't stop there.. it lasted for quite some time. I kept thinking to myself, "I really wish I had a working camera right now!" I wanted to capture the splendor of it all, to never forget its beauty and share it with the world. I slowly began to hear God whispering to my heart once again (as He has done so much of these past two weeks. Or maybe He always does and I do not slow down enough to listen)..

(taken from Google images.. this is NOTHING compared to what I was witness too!) :D

He said something to the effect of: "This is just for you, my darling. I hand-picked this moment for your eyes only. I understand that you want to share what you know of Me and My works with others, but I will reveal Myself to them in a different way and at a different time. As I see fit. They need to experience Me for themselves. Should they be perceptive enough to see Me. This is for you, though. To capture a picture of My power and love for you. Visibly instead of audibly for a change. It is a reminder of what I have done for you. But more than that, a reminder to you of who I Am, and who you are to Me." I thought of how blessed I was. How much my Father cherishes me, which amazes me considering I am not worthy on my own. But only through His sacrifice for me as He pursues me relentlessly! It was all so overwhelming to take in!!

We came to the end of the road all too soon. We turned away from the sunset and everything in me began to scream in opposition. How could we dare ride away from something so stunning? I wanted to embrace every moment of this sunset as possible. I found myself rather eagerly scanning the rear view mirrors and the reflection from my dad's helmet for whatever glimpse of the sun and the surrounding skies as I could find. Every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of the picturesque skies behind me (an understatement to say the least), which never failed to take my breath away. But then I came to a second major realization: what I was doing was much like what we do as humans.. Everyone is searching for God. They wonder why they cannot see Him or feel His presence in their lives. Why the pain? Why the confusion? What we all fail to realize too often is that He is all around us. He is so blatantly obvious, it is a mystery as to how we miss Him! The same way I was searching for the sun when the sunlight was everywhere to be seen already.. I suppose it is because we are too busy being distracted by everything else around us - by the things the sunlight is falling upon instead of the sunlight itself or the source of that light.

Every once in a while our Abba chooses to reveal an extra glimpse of His splendor to us. If we are paying any bit of attention.. An extra dose of any given characteristic of Himself, similar to the glimpses of the actual sun I would get in the rear view mirror, reflecting back to me. Yet He is all around us all the time. Inside of us if we have come into agreement with Him. Yet those special glimpses that drive us deeper towards God's Heart are ever so precious. Like a sweet kiss from a loved one. But better. So gentle yet so strong. So peaceful yet so invigorating. So quiet yet so deafening.

Oh, and one more thing: as brilliant as the setting sun was when I first caught a glimpse of it, it only continued to grow in expanse and magnificence. It was truly spectacular, though it paled in comparison to the Maker of it all and the things the Maker is teaching us and doing for us constantly and consistently. He truly does radiate!! Will you let Him radiate into and through you?!

Earth Dwellers

I'm not sure about you, but when I hear "Earth Dwellers" I think or aliens coming down to our humble abode and referring to us as such, or as "Earthlings". There's something to that though, oddly enough. The more I think about it, the less I want to be associated by such a term - to dwell on earth. Because while dwell can simply mean one taking a permanent residence in a certain place, it also deals with one's deep emotions, thought-life, and focus. I, for one, have no desire whatsoever to be associated as one who intends to live on this earth permanently or to wrap all of my emotions, thoughts, and focus up in this imperfect and fallen world.

I find it interesting that the Psalmist refers himself as an alien, dwelling with God [Psalm 39:12]. Yet God welcomes us there and invites us to make Him our home! I know I am nowhere near reaching this state, but I'd much rather be a Heaven Dweller. Or better yet, to dwell in God as He has so longingly pleaded with me (and you) to do. God dwells on, in, and with me.. Shouldn't I return the favor? Imagine the kind of joy that would bring our Father! Besides, wherever my treasures are (physical or spiritual - what I value in various ways), there is my heart [Luke 12:34]. A heart that is tender and that my Abba and Adonai is consistently yearning for me to entrust to Him to tenderly care for, keep safe, and nourish abundantly. He crafted it, why would I not want to give it back to Him, my true Lover?

Dwell is still such a strong word to me. The more I think about it, the deeper it seems. I mean, to really dwell somewhere or on something.. It sure brings a very clear emotional and mental picture to mind that I can hardly explain, but that I can feel. It is to settle in, get comfortable. To spend all my time and energy there. To be completely consumed with it. Even thinking about it now, it makes me want to exude with joy and laughter!! To dwell with my Maker. How breathtakingly astonishing, altogether wonderful, and picturesque that is! :D Call me crazy, but it kinda brings out the "warm and fuzzies" in me :) ..To be with, to DWELL, with my Father. My Home. My Dwelling Place! You really can't get much better than that!

We all dwell on something. On whom or what are you dwelling..? Is it worth it?